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Please send me your internet/email jokes, sayings, pictures, whatever so that we can all share.

Send to  :- jokes@c4more.com

Thank you.

Phillip Holt
www.nlpnow.com

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This one is  priceless.. Wrong email address. A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.

They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules.

So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.  The husband checked into the hotel.

There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an email to his wife.

However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.  Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.

He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16,  2007

I know you're  surprised to hear from me.

They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward  to seeing you then!!!!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S.  Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!

                                    

                            

                                                

                                                

                                                 

                    

                                           

                                        

                                                

                            

                                      

                                                            

                                            

                                                        

                                                    

It seems that restaurants come and go like the Basil Restaurant here in Norbiton, they change their names on a regular basis, some as many times as they change their menu.

Like any business, a profit has to be made to pay wages, rent and rates, tax and to invest in the future. Although sometimes it is nice to dine in a quiet romantic restaurant, looking into a loved ones eyes, sharing stories and memories, a quiet empty restaurant will not pay the bills.

Perhaps such restaurants have to change the menu. Perhaps they have to change their decor, tables, cutlery, plates. Perhaps they have to change their prices. Perhaps they have to change the attitude of the staff, waiters, cashiers, cooks.

How can they do that?

Perhaps look at other restaurants, at how they are succeeding. Perhaps they should ask their customers as to what they want. Perhaps they should employ consultants. 

Here is an example and a lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, I took some friends out to a restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the waiter brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

 

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired ABC Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."



As luck would have it, or on purpose, I dropped my spoon and the waiter was able to replace it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed.
 
Then I noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's trouser fly.  Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" 

Then he lowered his voice. "Did you have a sausage for breakfast? Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we could save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our "you know what", we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

"After you get it out, how do you put it back?" I asked.

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Oh Poo Poo coming soon.

Written by an African kid. 

                                                        When I born, I black 
                                                        When I grow up, I black 

                                                        When I go in Sun, I black 
                                                        When I scared, I black 

                                                        When I sick, I black 
                                                        And when I die, I still black 

                                                        And you white fellow 
                                                        When you born, you pink 
                                                        When you grow up, you white 
                                                        When you go in sun, you red 

                                                        When you cold, you blue 
                                                        When you scared, you yellow 

                                                        When you sick, you green 
                                                        And when you die, you gray 

                                                        And you calling me coloured?